Ok, so I can finally announce the secret I have been holding on to for the past few months. Although pretty much everyone who reads this blog already knows the news.
Yup...we here in the land-o-cynicism-and-bad-attitudes are havin' a baby. Ok, so maybe it's just me with the cynicism and bad attitude as the husband is very, excited. And who am I kidding...I am very excited too. But just so we are all on the same page here...here are the top three things that I am scared about:
1) I am waaaay to selfish of a person to have a child.
2) I don't want having a child to change who I am (see how selfish that is?)
3) I'm not going to like the baby and it will be too late to return it
Fortunately, I have my hands on a copy of "Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son's First Year" by Anne Lamott. I am currently on my third reading of it.
I find it incredibly refreshing and hopeful to read about someone else's experience with having a baby...particularly when that person is honest enough to share the reality. My sister says, and I agree with her, that there is unfortunately a group of women (and some men) out there in the world who would like to perpetuate the myth that having a child and raising a child is easy as pie, as fun as fluffy kittens and as sweet as bowls full of candy.
I am thinking I would be better prepared if I were armed with the truth. Not only is Operating Instructions" a very good representation of the truth, but most importantly, I am finding it very inspiring to read about someone just as cynical and of bad-attitude as myself. Because then I know I am not going crazy...or rather, that while I may be going crazy, there are plenty of other crazy people around to welcome me to the crazy-team with open arms.
So there you go...the big news. I am super glad to not have to hold it in anymore because believe you me...I have PLENTY to say about it.
Anyway, I hope you all had a great Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Festivus and have a chance to enjoy some New Year's festivities.