Tuesday, May 05, 2009

I'm trying not to complain too much, really...I am

So all you ladies out there...did you parents ever make you wear tights when you were a little kid?

And if they did...did they ever make you get into a pair that you were growing out of and so you ended up with the crotch of your tights around your knees and whenever you would walk, the waistband would start pulling off your panties so you ended up incredibly uncomfortable and in a tug of war to keep the tights from completely shredding you of any dignity at all? Think...this guy, here:

Well, THAT is what it is like wearing maternity pants as a tall person. I have YET to find a pair of maternity pants that will stay up and I erroneously thought that once my belly got bigger the pants would want to stay up because there would be more body to stick to. Instead, I spend my days furtively trying to keep my pants up...the the extent that I will pull them is so high that I look like I am waiting for the flood to start at any minute like these people:

But no matter what I do, in mere moments the pants have started creeping down my legs, taking my underwear and any dignity I have with them.

I've. had. it.

Oh yes, I have three lovely maternity dresses that are quite comfortable...but I live in Massachusetts...where it is currently only 48 degrees and very. windy. So on I go...living in this craptastic land of pants that will never fit and I am basically ready to tear my hair out.

Ok...rant over.



  1. Ok, never have been pregnant myself but having lots of friends with kids, I thought I remember somebody mentioning this "tube" of cloth that you could wrap around your belly. It helps to hold up your pants and give you a little extra support, I think. Of course I'm not completely sure about any of this....

  2. Excellent suggestion, my friend. And I hate to be one of those people who knock down every good suggestion, but I have two of those wonderful items...they are called Bella Bands...and while they worked for a while, I have gotten too big for them too. The pants just pull them down with themselves.

    Seriously, trying to get any pant to stay on me is like trying to dress the bottom half of an orange in a tube sock.

  3. Pants, schmants. Who needs 'em? I say - being pregnant is just like being an old person - you should get to wear whatever you want, and no one is allowed to say 'boo.' So go pants-less, my friend. Go pant-less into the New England springtime.

  4. My best friend lived in yoga pants while she was pregnant. The fold-over waistband helped keep them up. Of course, that suggestion is useless when you're in need of _real_ pants. :(

  5. Oh no! I'm sorry to hear that, M! That really sucks. I'm not pregnant, but I do recall the tights riding down my butt experience as a kid...

  6. Stretch pants (yoga-type). Bonus: they'll be the only thing that still fits AFTER the baby, when you can't bear to wear maternity items but aren't anywhere near fitting your old clothes.

    I did also try maternity suspenders by Tuggs. They were a pain, especially when you have to go to the bathroom every 30 minutes (thereby solving the mystery of why only MEN traditionally wear suspenders). But they did keep my pants on.