So one of the crazy things about being pregnant is that I can actually convince myself that I am totally faking it and not really pregnant.
In fact, the only thing that keeps me from completely convincing myself most days is that I haven't had a period since early October and I figure no matter how mentally unstable I clearly must be, I can't really fake that.
Of course, when I mentioned this to my husband a couple of months ago he looked at me like he was about to call the authorities. That was before he had been to any of my appointments, so for all he knew I really WAS making the whole thing up.
Once my first trimester was over and I started to feel better, this ridiculous fear really started taking over because I wasn't showing and I really was convinced that I had been lying about feeling awful for three months.
Last Friday we both went to the Drs office for my second trimester ultrasound and we found out a few wonderful things.
First, our baby is healthy.
No holes in the head for the brains to escape, no holes in the diaphram for the organs to shift around (lest you think I am completely neurotic, those two things happened to dear friends of ours and they discovered it at the second trimester ultrasound so I was particularly nervous). They were even able to see that the baby doesn't have a cleft lip, it has all ten toes and fingers and it has a healthy, four chambered heart. Also, all the screening tests came back reading that we were at low risk. And lastly, we found out it was a boy.
When we got home, there was a package waiting for us and my husband insisted that even though it was my Valentines present, he thought I should open it right away. That, of course, made me think it was perishable, but instead it was the sweetest gift I have ever gotten.
He got me an at-home doppler kit** so that I can listen to the baby's heartbeat whenever I get convinced that I'm not pregnant.
Of course, in the past couple of weeks I have actually started showing and that combined with all the information we received at the ultrasound has kept me on this side of sane, but still...it was such a sweet gesture.
What did you get for Valentines Day?
**Now, before you get all clinical on me, we are both aware the the at-home systems aren't foolproof and that they can lead to anxiety if you don't get a reading, so we have promised ourselves not to freak out if we don't hear what we want to hear.