Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Potty training tips for the cynical and those of bad attitude

As a supplement to my last post about Little G's potty training success, I offer you these (admittedly cynical) tips on potty training.  You can find basic potty training tips anywhere, but these gems are all share with you.  Do with them as you please.

  1. Don’t always read on the potty or you will be forced to read every time. Often your child will have somehow procured the world’s longest book, perhaps an entire anthology of Winnie the Pooh, and will then require you to read it every. single. time.
  2. This one you have to plan for before actually giving birth:Wwhen in the hospital having your lovely baby and your partner is quietly and efficiently stealing everything in the room, make sure they grab the thick, waterproof pad from under you (if we’re picky, see if they can get two). This will GREATLY come in handy when you are potty training at night/during naps. Even if you have a waterproof mattress pad, getting that thing off a twin sized bed and changed in the middle of the night is a pain in the arse…the waterproof pad from the hospital? Easy peasy. Pun not intended.
  3. Be aware that your child may have very. specific. preferences on what is on his/her underwear and where it is. Most underwear have the pictures blazoned along the rear of the pants…which makes a kid who loves Thomas (or Lighting McQueen, Tinkerbell, Princesses, My Little Pony, whom/whatever) want to wear the underwear backwards regardless of discomfort.
  4. For those NOIWANTTODOITMYSELF!!! kids, a good tip for teaching them to pull down/up their pants/underwear is to put one hand by their belly button and one by their butt and push down or pull up. (learned that from a developmental specialist and it totally worked for our Mr. Independent)
  5. Wiping poop from one’s butt is apparently the most difficult thing on the planet for a toddler/preschooler to master. It’s actually pretty hard for a parent to master too since they are no longer lying on a flat surface with everything spread and ready to wipe. Invest in more diaper cream, because there will be a rash.
That’s all for now…but believe me…there’s more.

1 comment:

  1. Our hospital was way too keen to us trying to take a single thing. Even the little kimono shirt we had accidentally left on Anna.