Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Some insight into your future husband's mother

As many of you know, I used to write for a very popular, national wedding blog. A pretty common topic on the site, as with any wedding related website, is that of the dreaded mother-in-law relationship. I am extraordinarily fortunate in that I love my mother-in-law and get along with her famously. But I will admit, that even with our healthy relationship, there is no way I could possibly truly understand her relationship to her son (specifically her eldest) until I had my own son.

Now, I could be taking huge liberties here, but I don't think I am too far off, so I am going to make a blanket statement that the feelings I have toward my eldest (and so far, only) son are universally felt by a large percentage of mothers, no matter how old their sons are.

So here it goes...ladies (and men), listen up:

My son is my world. Not just because he is my child but because he is the embodiment of every hope and dream I have for my life and for the world he will grow up in.

Oh dear...

Just saying that makes me get all teary.

Ok...moving on. His cheeks are doughy and perfectly kissable. His skin is ridiculously smooth and smells delicious. His eyes light up when they see me. His personality is already shining through and I can recognise my same stubbornness and need for independence in him. Even though he is just shy of 8 months old, he has already started to move past needing me to meet his needs. If he wants to grab something, he'll grab it. If he wants to eat something, he'll eat it. He is as close to perfection as I can comprehend is even possible.

But we live in a very scary world, and I am taking on the seemingly insurmountable challenge of raising my son in this world in a way that he will learn to respect the women (and men) in his life. Everyday, I think about how he grows and gets more and more independent and becomes more and more his own person. And every day, I want to stop time right where it is so I can hold on to every moment forever.

But it is a losing battle.

Already he has more than doubled his birth weight. Already he has become more like a little boy and less like a helpless baby.

And so I accept that one day, if we are lucky, and if all the cards play out right, he will be ready to leave us and enter into the world as his own man.

My husband and I will have done everything we can to prepare him for that moment. Someday, he will meet someone who will make his world spin round and the air escape from his lungs in love...and at that moment, I can only hope that we will have prepared him well to provide for that other person. And it is a wish of mine, that whomever he meets and decides to share his life with, will understand the sacrifices his mom and dad made for him to prepare him to be a good partner. But I know, since he is my son and since I have a mother-in-law of my own, that whomever he meets will never know what it is like to raise and love and eventually give away a son until that person has one of their very own.

So to my future daughter (or son)-in-law; please know that I am preparing a gift especially for you. I will love him and nurture him as best I can and on that day that I see my son's eyes light up when he is with you, than I too will love you.


  1. Oh my god Corn, that last paragraph made all the hair on my arms stand on end. What a beautiful way to put it. I can't help thinking of my own little unborn son too and so now I'm a ball of mush.

  2. I love this. I truly think that you just stated, and so eloquently, what millions of women wish they could express. :)

  3. Wow, that gave me chills. What a beautiful love letter.

  4. So well written...and exactly how I feel about my little man. =)

  5. Insert applause here!!

    My absolute wonderful son, who is 26, an engineer and the love of my life (along with his father and sister of course) is dating a terrific girl who was frightened by his "independence". "he doesn't need me to do anything for him..." I told her..."this boy has had an alarm clock in his room since first grade and packed his own lunch everyday before school. I never packed for his overnight camping trips in scouts...he and his sister could both do my banking or shopping at age 16--perfectly. Embrace the independence! He might not 'need' you around, so that would mean he 'wants' you around."

  6. What a wonderful post. I especially love you for this line:

    "So to my future daughter (or son)-in-law"



  7. Miriam can I link this on my blog? I really love what you wrote and want my small audience of readers to enjoy it too!

  8. so beautiful... it brought tears to my eyes!

  9. You just said what I have been trying to put into words for the last year. I don't have a son, but I, will someday be a mother-in-law, and I hope that whatever E is in life is a good one.

    Thank you, M!