Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Tension

I have a confession to make and it is driving me insane and I just need to get it out there because hopefully being aware of the problem will help me fix it.

I'm an angry driver.

Today, I had no less than three incidents where I ended up yelling at someone on the road because they had blatantly disregarded the rules of driving and inconvenienced me...and by 'inconvenienced' I mean I had to slow down and not do what I was doing as to not hit these people.

It doesn't matter what the infractions were. I was right every time. I really was. What matters is that regardless of whether those drivers even noticed my yelling and gesturing at them through the windows of my car not to mention felt any remorse for their wrong doings...they had moved on with their lives split seconds after their encounter with me...the rule abider. But I, I, was consumed by their stupidity for many, many minutes.

What a horrible, black, murky feeling to be so angry at someone for doing something wrong that it pulls you into a mess of frustration and poor focus.

I don't want to be like this. I want to get over it. I want to be able to smile and be gracious and forgiving. Not just for their sake, but for my own. I don't want to have this anger coursing through my veins, poisoning me, all because of a chance incident with a total stranger.

I don't have an answer.

I can't wrap this post up with a beautiful story or a poignant thought and make it all pretty. I just needed to get it out there. Again, hoping that maybe if I face this demon within me, that maybe I will be able to transcend it someday.

What's your demon?

10 comments:

  1. I totally am like you. I get so freaking angry on the road, it's unbelievable. I really truly lack patience for stupidity.

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  2. I'm the SAME way! I get so angry at people for not signaling, or not getting over when they are turning... OR driving below the speed limit. Grrrr. It raised my blood pressure and puts me in a bad mood for a while and I wish didn't do this, so sometimes I make an effort to be a happy driver, but then I forget and get all rage-y again. Please let me know if you find an answer :)

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  3. YES. I am just the same. What's worse is that my husband is a totally calm, even almost timid driver who is very patient. So I end up getting angry FOR him when he's driving! But I definitely stay angry past the point of decency and need to remind myself to calm down!

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  4. I swear that just yesterday when I was thinking what my next blog topic would be, I considered my road rage. I have zero patience for people with no consideration, who don't know that on-ramps DO NOT have right of way, who CONSTANTLY roll the stop sign a block from my house, or speed down my quiet no-line street. Last-minute mergers, or the Massachusetts rule that whomever bumper's in front has right-of-way. See, I just wrote that post anyway.

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  5. I'm such an enabler. While we're listing the infractions of the general public...how about idiots just crossing the street in the middle of traffic no where near an intersection and just dawdling along while staring you down practically daring you to run them over...or my least favorite Massachusetts theory that four way stops are really just like circles and you should enter them if you think you have room rather than if you got there first!

    ARGH!!!!! See...now my blood pressure is up again. Damn it.

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  6. My trick for road rage is to think that the person committing the "infraction" is my grandmother. My 73 year old grandmother is one of the most important people in the world to me and I would hate to think that someone would yell, honk, or give the finger to her. So, when something bad happens to me in traffic, I think, "What if that were Grammy? Would I yell at her for that? Maybe she didn't see me and just made a mistake when she cut me off...I would sure hate for someone to make her feel bad." So, when I imagine that the person is a loved one and show a little compassion and give them the benefit of the doubt, I am less likely to get angry and seethe behind the wheel. What do you think about trying that?

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  7. I have no suggestions, because I feel my blood boil at dumb stuff like this - and it's dumb, I know it is. But if someone's riding my ass I will slow down to 10 miles an hour just to piss them off. I want them to be as mad as me! Which, of course, gets no one anywhere.

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  8. Oh Debra, I totally agree...and a lot of times I am successful with having compassion towards the humanity of the other drivers...often I think about how tired we were when coming home from the hospital with Little G and how if the other drivers had known we were driving with our baby for the first time on little sleep they might have been more compassionate to us as we made a common error at a confusing intersection...I should give myself a little more credit, I guess. Where I falter is when reacting to aggressive drivers who are affecting my drive and blood pressure who clearly aren't your dear Grammy. That's when my blood boils and my heart starts to race...and those are the people who could care the least and deserve the least amount of my focus.

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  9. Dude. I scream and honk and swear and gesture at people constantly while driving. Sometimes I'll even get in front of the offender and inconvenience THEM if I can. Yeah. I'm bad. But I guess it doesn't bother me... they just need to get out of my WAY. hah.

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  10. I struggle too, but lately my mini conscience in the back seat has been telling me to "be nice mommy"! That straightens me up pretty quick...

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