I have a confession to make and it is driving me insane and I just need to get it out there because hopefully being aware of the problem will help me fix it.
I'm an angry driver.
Today, I had no less than three incidents where I ended up yelling at someone on the road because they had blatantly disregarded the rules of driving and inconvenienced me...and by 'inconvenienced' I mean I had to slow down and not do what I was doing as to not hit these people.
It doesn't matter what the infractions were. I was right every time. I really was. What matters is that regardless of whether those drivers even noticed my yelling and gesturing at them through the windows of my car not to mention felt any remorse for their wrong doings...they had moved on with their lives split seconds after their encounter with me...the rule abider. But I, I, was consumed by their stupidity for many, many minutes.
What a horrible, black, murky feeling to be so angry at someone for doing something wrong that it pulls you into a mess of frustration and poor focus.
I don't want to be like this. I want to get over it. I want to be able to smile and be gracious and forgiving. Not just for their sake, but for my own. I don't want to have this anger coursing through my veins, poisoning me, all because of a chance incident with a total stranger.
I don't have an answer.
I can't wrap this post up with a beautiful story or a poignant thought and make it all pretty. I just needed to get it out there. Again, hoping that maybe if I face this demon within me, that maybe I will be able to transcend it someday.
What's your demon?