Sunday, September 19, 2010


Never did I ever think that it would be more difficult do decide when to have a second child than it was to decide when to have the first.

Little G is amazing and we love him more than we ever even knew was capable. I remember when we decided we wanted to start our family and how exciting and scary that prospect was. But we didn't know anything then. So all of the excitement and scariness stemmed from what we thought we knew and what we figured we didn't know.

But now we know. Oh God, now we know! Going into the thought process of expanding our family knowing what we are getting ourselves into makes the decision of when to have that second one MUCH harder to figure out.

Aside from the overwhelming knowledge of just how hard those first years of raising a child are...there is the consideration of age difference. If they are two years apart, you can have them both out of diapers more quickly but you also have to deal with a TWO YEAR OLD and a newborn!!!!!!!!! Of course, when that newborn is one, than you have a three year old around to help entertain the one year old.

My sister and I are five years apart. We most likely wouldn't have been great friends anyway considering how polar opposite we are from each other...but we might have been better friends if we had been closer in age.

If they are three years apart, you have a newborn and a three year old who might just be a little easier to handle...but when that newborn is one; you have a four year old...and a one year old and a four year old don't really have all that much to talk about.

Of course, why do we have to be so arbitrary...we could aim for...shock...two and a half years apart.

Pretty much the only thing I am confident of is that having Little G expanded my capacity to love in an astounding and profound way thus I know that any addition to our family would cause my heart to grow even more...and who wouldn't want that?


  1. First, let me say that I think most mothers would admit to having this same thought process go through her mind. You are not alone. However, if it is any more than a fleeting thought, I think you're over thinking it. If you're feeling the urge to have another, just let it happen and don't worry about the age difference. It's ultimately out of your control anyway. And besides, each child and family is so unique that what one family experiences with an age difference of 2 years could be the same as another with an age difference of 1 or even 3 years. And speaking from experience, you'd be surprised just how much a 4 year old and 1 year old can find to talk about, even without words.

  2. Anytime is the perfect time for more love.

  3. My four brothers and I are all between two and three years apart, and I think that was pretty much perfect. I wouldn't want to be more than four years apart, I don't think. However, at a certain point, you're going to fight and complain no matter how close or far apart you are. And yes, you'd be surprised at how much a 1 and 4 year old can find to talk about. :)

  4. It's good to be thoughtful about things, especially when the refrain I hear is that going from 1 to 2 children is a bigger change than going from 2 to 3, 3 to 4. You'll make the right choice for you, or maybe the choice will be made for you. That turned out ok for me!

  5. My sister and I are 4.5 years apart and have always been close. We're totally opposite too.