Sunday, December 26, 2010


I don't have much to I'm not exactly sure why I'm here at the moment. Probably because for the first time in forever I actually have quiet time to myself to sit and write so I figure I should take advantage of it.

The month has been a good one but not without challenges. I took a stumble on our stairs in our home and sprained my ankle so badly that the tendons chipped a piece of bone off. The first three days after the ensuing hospital visit had me on crutches with explicit instructions to not put ANY WEIGHT on my foot at all. Perfectly feasible you know...with a 17 month old chomping at the bit to walk around as much as possible. So Little G went off to daycare for the whole week and had a blast. Mid week I had an appointment with the orthopedist and got a walking cast, so that made life easier...but I still can't drive. We are incredibly fortunate that my husband was able to work out a schedule where he could take Little G to daycare in the morning and pick him up in the evenings, so in the end I actually ended up with a lot of time to myself at the house...which was nice for Christmas wrapping and house cleaning and such. But BOY did that time go fast!!

That week also marked a year since my dad passed away. I was surprised at how sad I was with December approaching. I'm not one to glorify anniversary dates of things*, so I was frustrated that I was so emotional about it...until my sister pointed out that last year there was so much going on we didn't really have time to grieve whereas this year there was time to reflect. Either way, it was an emotionally difficult 10 days for me. He died on the 15th, his birthday is on Christmas Eve and then spending Christmas without him being around to spill on his shirt or drink too much champagne (that he RARELY drank) at my inlaws, or just repeat things that had been funny until he kept repeating them ad nauseum, was sad.

But we have been having a lot of fun including my dad in mom and sister and nephew had celebratory cupcakes that they scarfed down in between Christmas Eve services in honor of his birthday. And last night at my inlaw's we put out an extra glass of champagne for him. Still...I have the hardest time thinking about how much my son has grown and changed in the past year and how much he will continue to grow and change in the coming years and my dad isn't here to see it. I also am disappointed that my son will never have any memories of his Zayde. He will be able to rely on the stories...the many, many stories...but he will never have known the joy of playing with the pens in his shirt pocket...or racing with his wheelchair...

Ok...well sorry to cut this short, but as it is Little G is up from his nap and crying so I won't be able to wrap this up...or even try to transition this from mopey to reverent.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and safe and happy New Year's!!

-- Coasting anon --

* Ok...who are we kidding here...I'm TOTALLY a card-carrying sentimentalist, so it isn't necessarily that I was surprised that I was emotional about the anniversary...I just thought I wasn't supposed to feel so emotional and that if I told anyone they would make fun of me...turns out everyone was feeling blue so it wasn't just me being typical, overly-dramatic, wear-my-heart-on-my-sleeve, emotional wreck me.

1 comment:

  1. I know what you mean. Someone I loved in my childhood passed away this Christmas, and it isn't easy to shut that stuff aside, no matter how much you want to enjoy the holidays. Sounds like you're normal to me. :)