I guess I am more prone to seeing how it is for mothers of boys since my own husband is one of two boys. I think of their mother, my Mother-in-Law, often and how as the mom of two boys she lost out on the secret world of awesome that is the bond between mothers and daughters. I try to keep this in mind and be respectful of how she must feel toward me...the woman who lights up her eldest son's eyes.
But now I am faced with the high probability that our next child is a girl. The ultrasound technician is pretty darn sure of it. Honestly, the thought of a girl scares the shit out of me. For one thing, she's gonna have my hair, and she's gonna hate me for the rest of her life for it. And let's not gloss over the fact that I'm legitimately frightened of girls between the ages of 7 (the beginning stages of tweendom) and 25 (the end stages of lashing out at one's upbringing by straying as far from the fold of morality as possible). But for some reason, now that there is going to be another girl in our family, I can't help but hope that means the promise of a great friend once she becomes an adult.
And I unfairly find myself thinking that my son's future spouse is now off the hook. No longer will they have to be entirely considerate of the fact that I don't have my own daughter to dote on, because I will have one.
It is an uncomfortable realization for me; the amount of pressure I was (and still am) putting on future relationships that may or may not ever materialize. I am well aware that the key is to stop racing ahead in my mind and to live in these moments of tantrums and sticky fingers and open-mouthed, joyful kissies and soon-to-be-again sleepless nights and bottles and cooing and dreamy baby snuggles. The adults my children will be someday are present right here in the minds and hearts of my beautiful son and soon-to-be-born daughter. I don't have to look any further than that right now.