Yesterday, my husband and Little G and I headed down to the bar at the end of our street to grab some wings and dinner. Yup. I had my baby in a bar. It was after the Pats had already lost and the Red Sox had lost game one against the Yankees, so the place was pretty quiet. They weren't even watching the second Red Sox game...that's how much faith they seemed to have in them. Instead, they had on a random game between the Packers and someone else.
During a commercial break, the commercial below started to play. It caught my attention right away when I saw the person suggest dear.sophie.lee as a new address for a Gmail account. I kept watching because I thought, 'well, Google is usually pretty clever, maybe this will be funny'. Fast forward a minute and a half and I was a sobbing, sniveling mess. Seriously. As in, they had to bring us more napkins because I couldn't stop crying.
Go ahead, watch at your own risk. For those at work, you can play this on mute and not miss anything but the seriously perfect instrumental music...you'll get the same point.
Ok...now go get a tissue and come back.
Yeah...so anyway, there I was in the middle of a bar with my husband and my toddler sobbing like a moron. My husband had missed it altogether, but isn't too surprised when I cry at something on TV. Little G kept looking at me like he was going to cry and saying in a pathetic little voice, "mommy crrrryyyying..." which just made me cry more.
When we got home, I downloaded the video and showed it to my husband and I cried all. over. again.
I think it is a combination of a bazillion things. Not the least of which is that I feel completely inadequate when it comes to recording things that have happened in my son's life. Sure, I have some blog posts and some pictures, but he doesn't even have a baby book. I don't even know what his first word was or when he spoke it. -- although, to my credit, I DO remember his first sentence which was, "I throw the fork mommy!", to which I remember thinking, "great sentence...please stop throwing forks". -- So I felt a bit guilty about that.
Of course, then there's the fact that even when I'm NOT pregnant, I'm prone to crying at dog food commercials. So with only 5-6 weeks to go, I'm even more hormonal and operating on less sleep than I'm used to so of COURSE I would cry at the notion of a father carefully sending all of the memorabilia of a child's life to that child via the many avenues that Google gives us to record our lives.
But in the end, I think what really struck me was this moment we are in right now. These last weeks we have as a family of three plus the kitty. Sure life is going to change and get harder and better and more awesome and more stressful all at once...and I am finding myself more and more prepared for that reality every day. But for these moments in the next few weeks, I want so badly to hold on to this family that I have now. This threesome. This team. I love my husband and my son and, yeah, the kitty, more than I can even bear to try to describe and the fact that we are in the home stretch of this pregnancy just waiting for the onslaught of change to wash over us is overwhelmingly exciting and frightening.
So yeah, I cried at a Google commercial in the middle of a bar. You know what? My husband and my son love me for it. And my daughter will too.